go me!

So last night I went to the gym and decided that no matter what I'd be doing something new. I went to the upper tier of the gym and the only free elliptical machine kept freezing after 15 seconds so I got off that and tried a bike, not the recumbant...my ass is too big for the seat. So I decided I'd get on the treadmill and give the c25k a go on it. I had the music still loaded onto my mp3 player and away I went. I made it through 5.5 or 6.5 intervals before I just couldn't go on. I collapsed on a couch panting from being so hot. Thankfully I chose the treadmill with a couch directly behind it. My legs did hurt a bit but I was mostly overheated. I have a treadmill here at home and think I may try the c25k here next time, which should be tomorrow. My treadmill is in my basement which is typically ice cold and it's under an AC vent as well. That should be helpful and even if I can't finish it here the fact that I did over half of it is a major accomplishment to me when I couldn't even do 20 seconds of running on pavement. I guess I'll just have to build to doing it outdoors.

work and lab

So I've been working my butt off on a new account that I was put on for work. The woman who had it flaked after 4 years and the account was a week behind before I got it. I'm trying to catch it up at least. We're finally on Wednesday with it. So I've been working more than usual for less lines than usual as I am unfamiliar with the account.

Yesterday I called about my labs and they were normal except for my vitamin D. I've been told to take 800 units a day and get it redrawn in a couple of months. Now here are some of the things I've found about a vitamin D deficiency...I'm not linking to them as I have issues with links.

Some articles claim that lack of vitamin D is linked to fibromyalgia pain (I have fibromyalgia)...hopefully improving that will improve my fibro.

Some articles claim that having low vitamin D can CAUSE obesity/weight gain. I know why I gained weight but could low vitamin D be the cause of my inability to lose weight as other articles suggest?

I'll be going this afternoon to pick up the supplement and hopefully it will help.

Another symptom is fatigue which I have but that could also be related to my fibromyalgia as many who suffer from fibromyalgia also have chronic fatigue. I am hopeful that this supplement will help.

Doctor update

Today I went back to see my primary care doctor and discuss a variety of issues but mostly the issues that were brought up at my female appointment last week. My thyroid was NOT enlarged. I first saw Dr. Vu back in February and am down 8 pounds from then, fully dressed in shoes. We discussed my health issues in the past and the concern for a thyroid condition and/or diabetes. She is really concerned about the diabetes but I was fine about 16 months ago. She is retesting today. She took blood for 2 thyroid tests, glucose, Vitamin D, B12, iron, liver and kidney function as well as the normal panel which will include my cholesterol, which 16 months ago was very low. I will find out my blood test results by the end of the week and we'll go from there. She may order a thyroid ultrasound.

As for my diet she said I need to stay within a 1500 calorie a day range and I told her I'll be food journaling/blogging starting today. I was advised against going with the vegetarian diet, hopefully that's just for now and I can resume this plan eventually. She said it could even cause me to GAIN weight instead of lose. She said I need to cut back on the starches and increase my protein significantly. I don't even know where to begin on that. I do not eat fish and nothing can make me do so. I do like tuna salad. I have that carbs from heaven and carbs from hell book to read but am currently reading a novel and a memoir at the same time so I want to finish those first. I don't want to give up potatoes and peas and pasta :(

Food Blogging

I have started a food blog that I will begin using tomorrow and you can find it at this site (the words 'this site' are clickable)

change in plans

So yesterday I tried but did not complete session one of c25k. I do not consider this a failure because I at least attempted this so therefore I will just call this a temporary setback or a minor change in plans. I have decided to go back to the Walk away the pounds 6 week challenge. The 6 week challenge has 1 day a week (Sunday) that you take off completely and 1 day a week that is unstructured so you can do what you wish. I think right now I'm going to complete the first 2 weeks in full, which would be six 1 mile walks, three 2 mile walks and a 3 mile walk, plus the days up until the 3rd weeks unstructured day, which would be another 1 mile walk and two 2 mile walks, and try the c25k again on the unstructured day. If I can't do it then I'll continue on and try it again. I will do it and I will be a runner. I'm not letting this set back throw a wrinkle in my long-term goals. I also need to get into the gym at least once a week for some strength training or come up with some sort of strength training at home.

I've entered a 28 day challenge to lose 10 pounds started by a youtuber I follow. The idea is to lose 10 pounds by the first day of summer. I am confident I can do it. I'm determined to do it. I go to the doctor tomorrow to see what she has to say about the thyroid being enlarged and get some fasting blood work done. Hopefully they'll have answers to why I haven't been able to lose weight despite all I've done. Although part of me really thinks WATP really isn't enough cardio to help me lose the weight I want to. I really miss the gym.

cookout, cats and c25k

So yesterday we had a cookout with some friends and it was a nice time. I bought some potato chips for the cookout because what kind of cookout doesn't have crisps...only I didn't serve them as I made some delicious potatoes instead. I snuck handfuls of chips quite often...the thing I recently decided to give up for the summer. I was so embarrassed I'd get caught but I didn't. I am still embarrassed. That was my slip and I am done but it was a big one. I would guess I ate about half the bag...shame on me.

Yesterday I got my new kitten...SHE turned out to be a he which was not what I wanted but he is gorgeous so I am okay with him. However, my pretty Penelope does not like him and likes to take a swipe at him and/or hiss at him. I am hopeful they will begin to like one another soon.

Now the worst of it all, today I attempted to start c25k. I haven't really exercised since I got injured and I probably should have gotten back into all that before jumping into c25k but I didn't and I am paying for it. The first time out I'd say I can only run for about 20 of the 60 seconds. My ankle starts to feel wonky and my shins burn. I have an appointment on Tuesday with my doctor and will mention these things. I ran 3 times but for no more than 30 seconds any of those times. Today it is very hot and humid, 88 with 48% humidity (31 celsius) and that was also a problem as even now I am still sweating. Tomorrow I will start back to the WATP and hopefully within 2 weeks can give c25k another try.

ARGH

Seriously I'm never happy to be overweight. I've been complacent about it and let it linger too long. Today, however, I'm entirely done with it. For the last few years I've been large and I've not done enough about it or I'd be thin by now. Right? Maybe not. Last year when we joined the gym I immediately lost 13 pounds in the first month...gained it back and gave up for a bit. I've been exercising a lot since March and haven't lost that amount even 3 months later. I asked about the possibility of PCOS at the doctor today because I have several of the symptoms but was told that since my cycle is NOT irregular that is not the case. I could have some other type of hormone irregularity instead, possibly even be diabetic. I am at risk for that due to my previous history but was told by another doc that is only a risk for 5 years and it's now 7 years on. My thyroid is enlarged and that's a concern.

Okay that's it. I'm done...I'm 30 years old and I have fibromyalgia and I'm fat. I don't want to be 31 with a thyroid issue and/or diabetes and fibromyalgia and fat. I'd rather just turn 31 quietly and at least 30 pounds lighter. Again I feel like I am floundering and have nowhere to go.

Also, I have NO sex drive and was again told, essentially, to suck it up and do it anyway.

Memorial Day and what it means to me

So here is the wikipedia description of the upcoming holiday:
Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May (on May 25 in 2009). Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War (it is celebrated near the day of reunification after the civil war), it was expanded after World War I to include American casualties of any war or military action.

That is a wonderful holiday for a great reason but it just makes me think of my grandmother. Her birthday was May 27 and so Memorial day was usually the time we'd say happy birthday to her. Now she's gone and it makes me miss her. I lived with her for years and while slightly crazy and insanely manipulative she knew how to make someone feel loved (and then like running away). Many times over the years she drove me completely bonkers but if I needed anything I could count on her. I miss her a lot. Memorial Day to me will always remind me of how much I miss her.

another blog swap 'the fat geek'

Today I'm doing another blog swap. This time it's with the Fat Geek Blog. I wish I could have a website like his. It's great with pics, blogs, calculators. Very well done. He's doing great and so I'm chosing to post his blog update from this weekend. You can follow him on twitter @thefatgeek and be sure to check out his website at www.thefatgeek.com (for whatever reason clicking links won't work on this blog so I think I need to reset it all). In any case he is doing fantastically and he's very motivating.

Here is his blog:

Week 4 has been a real success. I was super motivated the whole week. Thanks in no small way to all those folks who send encouraging e-mails and tweets via twitter, subscribe to the podcast and of course my family and friends. I am getting unbelievable support from all areas and it is truly what is making the difference. I Thank You all emphatically from the bottom of my heart.


I think the difference between success and failure with weight loss is 95% motivation. More on that another day, let’s get to the week that was and lessons learned.


I had a 2 lb weight loss for week 4. This is fantastic given the travel that took place during the beginning of the week and constraints the hotel gym put on me. However, we (or I did anyway) learned from week 2 that during travel it is your diet that requires the most attention. I was able to improvise the gym routine to ensure I got a good workout in, but I really paid strict attention to what and where I was eating. I think that made all the difference....and my proof is in the results this week compared to the results during week 2. If you remember, during week 2 I worked out like a madman, wasn’t too sure about what I ate and lost nothing. This week I worked out as best I could and concentrated more on my eating plan, which resulted in a weight-loss.


In science we would refer to my “Concentrate on Diet during Travel and less on Workouts Thesis” a hypothesis. To test my hypothesis we require experiments that test the casual relationships among the different variables. In this case it will not be fair. Given my not so good results in week 2 and my good results here in week 4. I will continue to follow my “Travel Hypothesis” (of concentrating big-time on diet) as I go forward. Thus, we won’t get to see if other factors may have caused the week 2 problem. We are all different but the results of this first experiment (last week, concentrating on diet) gives me enough proof to feel confident in my hypothesis that I will continue with that strategy during travel weeks. Which, by the way, happens again next week.


My workout routine for week four was pretty similar since the beginning. I have been doing strength training and running every day, with the following exceptions: Monday and Tuesday I had to improvise my strength training routine due to lack of equipment. This meant doing some old fashion push-ups and bench dips along with the machine exercises. I didn’t run on Wednesday morning because I arrived back home late Tuesday night. I did my strength training that was scheduled for Friday evening on Saturday morning because I was really tired Friday night. I feel way more confident with this routine right now, because I am confident that I can improvise as required and still gain great benefits from the exercise plan. That means a lot to me, given my work schedule and travel requirements.


My healthy eating plan was excellent for this week. I averaged around the 1700-1800 calories range each day of the week. I had about three Subway meals for either a lunch or dinner (trust the Subway 6 grams of fat meals). I ate out on Friday night, had some Salmon and rice (600 calories). During travel I tried to eat the same way I did when I was home. Bought a bag of apples and some bananas to throw in the hotel fridge, so I always had a healthy snack during the day. Basically, I ate the same as I would at home all during the day and then had a really healthy choice for supper. This worked. I will continue with this strategy for week 5. As I mentioned above I am on the road again. Once again I will be traveling to Calgary for part of the week (Tuesday to Thursday).


So, over the past 4 weeks I have lost a total of 14 lbs. However, if you break down the numbers you see that I lost 12 lbs during week 1 & 3, weeks I stayed home and had no travel. I lost 2 lbs during week 2 & 4, weeks I travelled. Big, big difference. Maybe week 2 skews the results, but it certainly tells me that I need to seriously consider what my expectations are during travel weeks. I need to be patient about my weight-loss when it comes to travel weeks. Finally, I need to trust my process here and that doggedly continuing to concentrate on exercising and eating healthy will have long-term pay-off.


Check back next week and see if the “Travel Hypothesis” holds up and see the new pics and podcast for week 5. Thanks again for the support and see you next week.

so ready

Okay I can't keep doing this to myself. I am lazy and eating badly and I'd imagine I gained weight/inches. It's 4 pm and I've had 3 bowls of crunch berries and a salad. I'm just bored. I need to get off my ass and clean the house but I haven't yet. I finished a book I was reading and I'm chatting to my friend and harrassed J via text message which is insanely fun to do but doesn't assist in cleaning the house or losing weight. I think I suffer without someone to say 'hey get off your ass and do what needs done.' I'm just so tired of this cycle.

I skipped my weigh in/measuring on Monday and I said it was due to the failure of the last few weeks with my foot injury and my sinus infection and this and that but really I think I was giving up. I've ordered shoes and will be starting the C25k soon so I think that'll be a boost. Today I'm going to try the wii fit Gold's Gym cardio workout.

I just feel like an idiot for giving up but not even being willing to admit it to myself...I'm over it now and ready to get on with it

excited

So I am going to order my new running shoes tomorrow and should have them next week so I can start my C25k. I am looking forward to it so much. I'll also be doing the Wii Fit Gold's Gym game that I checked out from the library to try it out. I wouldn't want to buy it if it's junk.

Anyway, things have been horrid here in terms of getting my exercise in. I have continued to eat well and still have not had pop in over a month which is the best thing to me. I drink water and occasional glasses of milk. I have had a few sips of pop in desperation but they were disgusting. I have also cut chips out again and this time I'm thinking of doing that more permanently. They are a horrid weakness for me and I just need to give them up.

Earlier this week I signed up for a team leader kit from the local Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk which will be October 11. Myself and a few others have made this plan together but I will do it alone if necessary. I plan to try to run the whole thing but would be happy to run at least half.

I really need to update my vlog but haven't had time and for a couple days didn't have much of a voice. I'll try to do that in the next few days.

Blog Swap

I've never done this before but here we go.

I have recently befriended a couple of ladies who blog/twitter together via twitter. They are on the weight loss journey with me and they asked if anyone would be interested in blog swapping. I, of course, decided to offer my own blog up and went about picking what I'd want to share from them. I had a really hard time because they are both brilliant writers. Find out for yourself by follwing their twitter feed at @fabfatties. Please check out and follow their blog as well at http://weightlosswiththefabulousfatties.wordpress.com I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

I AM DOING THIS FOR ME

"When you begin living your life fully from the deepest place within you and loving who you are, all things will change for the better.” – Gena Livings just posted this on Twitter. She seriously has the best posts, if you are not following her you should, they always motivate and inspire me.



I love this! I believe that I need to learn to love myself enough to make healthy choices for me. In other words I shouldn’t have the mind set that I need to exercise or eat healthy so I can by thin and feel good about myself, but I need to feel good enough about myself to exercise and eat right.

I am setting some goals for the week to help me achieve this mind set:

I am going to go to bed early enough to get a full 8 hours of sleep. (This one is going to be the toughest!)
I am going to get out of bed by 6:30 so I can exercise in the morning.
I am going to take the time to prepare lunch/snacks to take to work.
I am going to take time to appreciate the beauty of the outdoors.
I am going to breath deep full breaths and accept life as it is each day, enjoying each moment.
Wow, I already feel more peace. Lately my life has been crazy busy stress and each moment is jam packed with 50+ things to do. Life is not about running the fastest or accomplishing the most each day. It is about enjoying each moment, appreciating every oppurtunity presented to you and making the most of it. This is what I am working on this week. I know I have had a caotic energy lately and that is going to shift into an energy of serenity and peace. Big things are happening in my life right now and I am so excited… I just need to remember to breath and take time to take care of myself.

It feels so good to put it out there that I am taking care of myself because I derserve it… so much better than I want to lose weight because I am soo fat!

Okay… I gotta get to bed because I have 5 minutes to make my goal! (Breahting and not stressing about my goal… or at least trying!)

walking

So any time I walk more than about 1/2 mile my ankle begins to hurt. I have therefore decided to postpone restarting the walk challenge until Monday which will push my dates back for starting/finishing the couch to 5k by 1 week. That is okay though. I am not going to be hard on myself. I will be ordering my first pair of running shoes this weekend and chose these: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00186SVLK/ref=twister_dp_update?ie=UTF8&childASIN=B00186WMNI

I am very much looking forward to beginning this. I feel like when I start this I will truly be taking charge of my life for the first time ever.

I've left sparkpeople because I felt overwhelmed by all the things I had bookmarked. I was going to sparkpeople, thecarrot, neversaydiet, fitday (that's just a few)...I've cut all those down to fitday just for tracking purposes. There is an upcoming 4 week challenge on neversaydiet but they will email those and I may not do it. I think I have a good plan and really think if I continue to overload myself with information and advice from multiple sources it will only serve to deter me and I'll lose sight of the goal and quit AGAIN. I can't afford to do that to myself.

get off that big thing and MOVE

It's been a bit since I've blogged. Two weeks ago tomorrow I hurt myself...I either stubbed my foot on the chair or hurt it doing WATP, either way I'm not sure. I ended up being placed in an air cast and unable to comfortably move around I just sat. I am now out of the air cast but still a little bit tender. I am going to get back to it today. I have to start somewhere and even if it hurts I can always stop when it's uncomfortable. My shoes finally fit again so that's a good sign.

I gained back a couple pounds and a few inches which may be water weight but we'll see. I'm not stressing too much about it. I really expected it. I tried to do some type of arm and ab workouts but my heart wasn't in it. If I wasn't going to break a sweat it just didn't feel worth it to me. I wouldn't say I was depressed about it but I wasn't giving my all to it. I'm just ready for the journey to be over. I know I can't skip over the journey but it's hard not to get completely frustrated by all the work I've put in with very little result. Yes I have lost a ton of inches but where.

So here is my plan. Today I start back to my 6 week walk away the pounds challenge. The challenge calls for 64 miles walked in 6 weeks. I am upping that to challenge myself to 70-75 miles and at least a weight loss of 10 pounds in that time. I will probably throw in a couple of water aerobic classes. Six weeks from yesterday, which would be June 15, I WILL start my Couch to 5K training. That would have me running during the hottest period of the summer and I think that would end like August 17th. I can always run in the evenings when the weather is a bit cooler anyway. I'm not going to give up because it will be hot.

My initial weight goal is 200 pounds, at which time I will buy a real webcam so I can play in Stickam with the YT crowd if they can handle my awesomeness. According to where I am now, 227.1, I should hit that around August 8th which is also the date I have to go to a wedding so I can hopefully wear a really cute summer dress to go. I should also hit my final goal around Valentine's day. I promise I will not promptly pig out on chocolate and gain 5 pounds. I'm not a chocolate fan anyway. It's Easter and Marshmallow Peeps that are my candy weakness.