Ooops

The link to my new blog did not copy into the post so here it is now
http://thedietingwriter.wordpress.com

new location

I have decided to start fresh this year and have created a new blog with wordpress which can be found here I look forward to seeing you there :)

http://thedietingwriter.wordpress.com

new starts and goals

And so it begins. January 1st to September 24 (my birthday) is exactly 38 weeks. In that time frame I'd like to hit my goal weight of 150 pounds, losing a total of 88.5 pounds. I am currently 238.5 pounds. The picture above was taken 01/01/2010.

Exercise wise I plan to start by going to the gym and doing their PACE room which is like Curves. I will do the three circuits like Curves and then I will do a few of the machines in the weight room. I'll do this at least three times a week.

My hope is to be out of the 200s by Mother's day which is in about 18 weeks. I will weigh in every Friday and take my measurements on the 1st of every month.

I am done with all of this being overweight business and this is the end of it all.

Short story

I entered a short story contest hosted by the author Michelle Rowen. I did not place in the top 5 but that is okay. This was the first time I ever submitted any of my writing for anything.

A little background on the story is that this takes place in the 1950s and is intended to serve as a prologue for a MS that is still in the plotting stages. When this contest cropped up it seemed like the perfect time to write this part out. I am bad with titles so I played with a Christmas Song as the contest did.

Have Yourself a Faerie Little Christmas

Deep in an Irish forest snow fell on the roof of Finn's treetop home. He was lost in thoughts of the human girl he'd met while on his rompu saol, the journey all faerie youth take to make sure they are walking the path they were meant for. Finn had returned three weeks prior and every day that he was home he missed her more. He'd met her his first night in Dublin. He had been so entranced by the lights and sounds that he didn't notice the beautiful girl step from the shop and into his path until he'd knocked her flat.

“Ouch!” said the beauty. “Watch where you're walking!”

“My apologies, my lady,” Finn apologized. “Are you hurt?”

He held his hand out to assist her and she looked up at him, taking his hand. She quickly lost her tongue for he was gorgeous. After she was on her feet she realized that he stood at least two heads taller than her 5 foot 6 inch frame and he looked a lot like the American movie star Paul Newman but darker, a stark contrast to her fair skin and red hair.

He held tightly to her hand and raised it to his lips in apology.

“I am not hurt.”

“May I have your name?” He inquired.

“I'm Maggie Byrne and who might you be?”

He stopped short, remembering he couldn't give his true name or he'd lose his magic forever. “My name is Simon Fay. I’m new to Dublin. Could I possibly trouble you to show me around?”

Every spare moment of the next six weeks were spent together. During the day Maggie worked in a bakery to earn money for Christmas and Finn spent his days learning of the human world. He found it to be far more magical than anything he'd ever seen at home. In the evenings they had long talks, sharing their hopes, dreams and future plans.

It was little wonder that within their first few weeks together Finn and Maggie had fallen deeply in love. Finn was no longer sure that returning home was what he wanted to do and often considered giving Maggie his true name, thereby taking his magic.

On the last night of his rompu saol he and Maggie enjoyed a quiet dinner alone and then he walked her home, through the cold, holding hands, talking and kissing. She knew that he would be leaving the next day. He told her that he needed to go home to see his parents and make decisions about what he wanted to do now.

“I love you Simon and hope that you return to me soon.”

The next day he wanted to say goodbye but couldn't bring himself to do more than watch her through the window. He still wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing. He knew it was expected that he would one day take his father’s place as leader of the fae people but Finn didn’t know if he could give up the love he felt for Maggie. He felt pain at leaving her and reluctantly he stepped into the forest and was enveloped by the magic that brought him home to his village. He was greeted by a warm parental embrace.

The weeks went by with Finn torn between duty to his family and dreams of life with Maggie. He spent most of his time alone, contemplating his choices. His mother, Raisa, knew she could lose him but she would accept his choices. Most fae return from their rompu saol and step into an adult role in the faerie community, some never return and others take time to decide their path. She sensed much was wrong with her young son but knew that she could not interfere as custom dictated each child choose their own path.

Meanwhile in the human world Maggie was missing 'Simon' fiercely. In her world only one week had passed but she kept looking out for him, hoping he'd turn up when she least expected him. He hadn't given any inkling as to when or even if he might return but she had hopes that he would return before Christmas, in three days.

In the fae world another week passed and Finn finally knew what he was to do. He couldn't bear to live another day without Maggie in his life. Leaving his family would be hard but he’d worked out a plan to live nearby to protect them and be with Maggie.

His parents spoke at length of their desire for him to be happy and he assured them that he had found that with Maggie. His mother and father embraced him and clung to one another as they said their goodbyes. With one last look back at his family and friends Finn stepped out of the forest to become Simon once more. He was back in Dublin and it was Christmas Eve. He had his bags packed with human clothing and money in his pockets. In his satchel was a gift for his beloved. He set off for the bakery.

The door chimes let Maggie know someone had entered the store. She felt that flutter in her stomach as she turned around to see 'Simon' standing there and suddenly she ran into his arms. She covered his face in kisses while covering her own in tears of joy to see her love returned.

In his hand he held a simple white box which he handed to Maggie. Inside she found a small piece of paper that read ‘I have nothing to give you for Christmas but myself. If you accept I will stay with you for the rest of our lives. All you have to say is my true name.’ She read this and flipped the paper over, finding his true name. She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I love you Maggie Byrne.”

“And I love you....Finn”

Today

Today is a busy day. I overslept and my alarm never went off. I now have to work until 3 while getting my house clean. I am also awaiting a delivery of heating oil so my house can stay toasty. I then have to get a shower and get ready to go to my grandfather's layout/viewing and go to that which I'm not looking forward to. It's going to be a very rough place to be.

Major update

It's been almost 2 months since I've posted any sort of update. A couple of weeks after I posted previously things in my world got a little topsy turvy with the notification that my grandfather, who I love so much and who had a hand in raising me, would be going into hospice care. He went in on October 29th and passed away yesterday. Yes I am upset and hurting over it but his mind is clear now and he's no longer in pain. I will miss him the rest of my life but I'm luck to have had him as long as I did.

While he was ill I mostly put writing aside. It's hard to motivate to write a love story when a part of you is miserable. I did write a short story related to a potential future book. The story was submitted to a holiday short story contest, the results of which will not be available until the 20th. If I place in the top three my story will be posted on the author's website. I'm excited and nervous as I've never shared my writing with anyone outside of my circle of friends and family so it's a bit scary to share in an arena where I will be judged. The contest is open to published and unpublished authors so that makes it even scarier.

Another thing going on is that I have fallen off track with my weight loss again. I had sort of gotten on track again but the fibromyalgia sidelined me again as well as a problem with my heel that has left me unable to wear running shoes for a couple of weeks. The doctor said if it's not better by January that she will X-ray it to be sure I don't have heel spurs. I'll be starting a new fibromyalgia medication tonight...hopefully we'll get it under control and I can start losing weight.

Things have been wild that's for certain. They will calm down but I will still mourn the loss of my Papaw. I just know he's okay now and I can stop worrying for him.

very belated update

So things have been going well I suppose. I haven't really been writing but I've been plotting out a wonderful story to possibly work on for NaNoWriMo. I am considering holding off and working on my existing WIP. I've gotten a laptop and now have a lot more freedom to work than I previously had.

I had a slightly upsetting experience yesterday. I had sent a chunk of my WIP to a fellow writer and asked her to give me input only on content and not on editing as this was my rough 1st draft. All I wanted was input on whether the bones were good. I've sent it to friends and family who all rave that it's wonderful but they love me and I honestly worry I would not get poor feedback even if it were justified. I did not get what I asked for. Instead she edited it...poorly. The edits would make it completely unreadable as she is very comma happy and keeps telling me to make it less passive. I didn't ask for edits. I know how to edit and I know proper use of commas. I write professional documents for a living and have to edit them. I think my job makes me qualified to determine proper placement in a book. I'm sure I'll make mistakes but seriously...her edits would make any agent laugh me away. I don't know if she did this in an effort to sabotage my writing or if she honestly thinks that is the way it is supposed to be. I don't know her apart from twitter but I'm hurt by it. I asked for something simple and got a complicated mess.

Part of me thinks I shouldn't post this in case she reads it but I really need to get my feelings out there before I become angry instead of hurt.

heh

Guess I failed that mission

September 3

Just ain't feeling it today

September 2

Today is the 2 year anniversary of the passing of my grandmother which is a sad day for me. I still miss her.

Add to that a sinus issue AGAIN and you'll have one crappy day.

THE END

September 1

Well I haven't been very good at keeping up lately, the blog, weight loss, exercise and/or writing. I think that the weight loss and feeling good about myself helps go a long way toward the rest of it flowing easily. I've never been to great at prioritizing when it comes to putting me first. That's going to have to change. I am going through a transition with work where I'll be taking on much more responsibility but with better benefits than I have had so it should even out. The transition is going to be ongoing so I may touch on it again this month while blogging every day.

So I had been down about 13 pounds in mid June but gained back after my friend visited, not her fault by mine. I am now only down by 5.2 pounds but I'm going to get back on track. I'll be going back probably Monday, whenever they reopen this program they have, and starting the c25k again.

I am hoping that by getting that part of my life on track my writing follows along. I am waiting for some input from a friend of mine on my Scottish WIP and I'm jotting down notes for NaNoWriMo so I think I'm on my way to getting things back on track.

I'll be blogging every day this month just to try to recapture my mojo.

wow

Well it has been a very very long time since I blogged. So I think it's time to issue myself a blog challenge. I will blog every day in the month of September even if I have very little to say.

I haven't been writing much but am attempting to get back to it. I have a book to read that says it will help me write my novel in 3 months...let's see how that works out. I am also jotting down ideas for NaNoWriMo but will not begin that until November 1.

So I will be back to blog on Tuesday...until then I've missed writing.

time flies...

Well my best friend and her daughter came last weekend and we were so busy and I didn't make the greatest food choices. I gained nearly 3 pounds on top of my previous gains. I am now back to where I was in March. I will not beat myself up and I do not think I failed. I have just hit a snag and I will fix it. I am starting over tomorrow. Weigh ins will now be on Sunday's beginning tomorrow and I will be working with a friend to track my food. My car is also fixed and so I'll be going back to the gym on a more regular basis. I'm very excited about my 'reboot' tomorrow and will probably blog about it mid week or so.

I'm going to go off on a bit of a rant here and if you don't like it so be it.

One of the issues I have with the online weight loss community is that it becomes a popularity contest. I'm not trying to be popular because the more 'friends' you make the harder it is to create a meaningful thing. What I want to find via this crazy WLC is people to actually care about me and me care about them. If you make 1500 friends from it you're not going to be bonding in a meaningful way. It just bothers me...'follow me, follow me...prize to my *** follower.' Seriously people it's about weight loss numbers not follower numbers.

Another thing that really really pisses me off is that a lot of the people who are 'popular' in the WLC are not worth it. Seriously...I want to look up to someone who is eating healthy and exercising and not sitting in a bar smoking and drinking. If I wanted that I'd go down the street and tell my weight loss troubles to the town drunk. Unless you and I are talking away from the WLC please there is a short list of things I do not want to know.

1. Sex life - whether or not you have one is not my business if we're only on a screen name basis.

2. Bathroom habits - I don't care how close we become I don't need to know how often you go and what consistancy it is.

This is the short list but it is constantly being added to.

I want the people I look up to to eat healthy, exercise regularly and even fail sometimes. In other words, I want you to be real and not just popular because you pimped yourself to the internets in an effort to be the most watched person there is.

busy

I know I haven't been blogging a lot lately but I've been saving my time to work on the book. I hit 10k words, shared with a couple of beta readers who gave great feedback...I'm excited.

I won't be around much in the next few days. My friend and her daughter are coming in this afternoon and will be here until Thursday. I work Wednesday but am off for the next 4 day...glorious. We have a slightly busy yet lazy schedule that includes movie watching at my house, going to the movies, hitting the gym, going to my mothers and maybe some book reading.

busy

I have been so incredibly busy lately and I'm not even quite sure what I was doing. I do know that I've written a lot. I have made 13 pages of progress to my 70 pages planned for July. I have changed that goal to hitting 100 pages instead which is an additional 59 from where I am so the total pages will be 72 in July instead.

I haven't made it back to the gym to do c25k since Thursday but I think I will be going today and again on Thursday and I'll try to go on Saturday morning before I go pick Taryn and Emily up at the bus station.

This week I have to get things ready for their visit. I haven't seen them in almost 2 years. We have a nice relaxing time planned although I do have to work a little bit on their last full day here.

I think we'll be going to the gym and taking a water aerobics class while she's here but I do plan to continue my c25k as well. I'm looking forward to my next run.

July 2009

So I think it's time to set some goals for this month. I have made a list and then I will explain the reasoning behind each.

1. To reach 215 pounds (last June weigh in was 224.7).
2. To cut out my flavor packet consumption down to 1 per day.
3. Finally try water aerobics.
4. Create a bucket list.
5. Write at least 70 pages on my novel in the month of July.

Explanations:
Goal #1
In January I was 236, going back to September the same. I've been struggling to lose weight, mostly due to lack of exercise. I'm tired of this. I have lost 11.3 pounds, although my last weigh in was at TOM so there was water weight, in the last 7 months. I want to finally be able to say I've lost MORE than 20 pounds. I will be hitting the gym more regularly and I have 2 new walk away the pounds videos and another to help me work out at home. I have found the right location to do my Couch to 5k running and I'm ready to go.

Goal #2
When I gave up pop I switched to water but I like flavor and so I started getting these generic Crystal Light drinks. They are no sugar and no caffeine and only 5 calories for a 16 oz drink but I'd like to just drink plain water at least 90% of the time.

Goal #3
I've belonged to a gym for 18 months now and since day 1 have said I wanted to take a class but never have. When my bestest friend comes to town we're going to take a class while she is here. I am looking forward to this.

Goal #4
There are so many things I want to do in my life and I want to make a list of those things and get started on finishing them. Wales here I come...anyone want a temporary roommate in Wales :)

Goal #5
The number one item that will go on my bucket list will be to finish my FIRST novel (there will be many with any luck) and so completing 70 pages will go a fair distance toward completing that goal.

So anyway, those are my goals and I'm looking forward to checking in at the end of the month with an update on my progress...and feel free to ask me about my progress throughout the month.

neglect

I have been neglecting a lot lately to cultivate my ideas for this book. I did not hit my goal target this weekend, didn't even write. I was so worn down from the issues with my job last week and the creative process that I just needed to unwind. Friday night I went to see a movie, Transformers 2...Saturday I spent the first half of the day next to the pool with my friend Tina and some other people, the second half was spent unwinding at a family member's house, we cooked out and talked...Yesterday I worked for a few hours and relaxed, did a couple of loads of laundry, went grocery shopping, watched tv.

Today I'm back to it. I'm working (well not at the moment) and have my notepad next to me to jot down notes related to my book. Last week I changed every characters name...very exhilarating feeling as I was very unhappy with the lack of connection to the names and now it's all better. Still a little scared of attempting to write some of the things I know will be coming but am hopeful it's not as hard as I think it could be...grateful to have a friend who has gone through it and has given me input.

Today I've been in my job field for 5 years...typed my first report 5 years ago today. Is it wrong to hope that I won't be able to say 6 years? That next year I can say 'my first novel is being published'...I think if I can finish I can be published...

taking care of me

I've realized I have never really taken care of myself. At 11 I began to smoke and that was awful enough. I never exercised and ate whatever I wanted. My junior and senior years of high school breakfast was a Mountain Dew, Snickers bar and some Cheetos...yum. I was 135 pounds at the time. I maintained that weight for years despite sitting on my butt and eating junk. I quit smoking at 27 and gained 80+ pounds.

Today I am 222.9 pounds. I have lost 13.1 pounds and still am not taking care of myself. Why? I still feel like I shouldn't have to watch my diet or exercise and I feel like I should stomp my feet and scream. It's so not fair. 10 years ago I loved to go hiking but didn't think of it as exercise. I still have issues watching what I eat even though I know it's just going to make me feel like crap. Grow up lady.

I can keep starting over and over but it's not going to work until I mean it. I mean it today. I'm done feeling like dirt, not caring about me and not caring FOR me. I didn't manage to get up early as I'd planned this morning but I'm going to beat myself up for it. I do have a condition that causes me to constantly be fatigued so it's going to happen.

I may not have support at home but I have the support of a great online community of people and if I'm struggling I can talk to one of them just as they could me.

So guess what today is? Today is the start of a new me for good.

pressure

In the last two days I've come to realize that I put myself under an incredible amount of pressure.

Work - I am a transcriptionist and I put so much pressure on myself that when I was called to task over a few errors yesterday I broke down sobbing. After 5 years maybe I've become a bit too complacent and need to take a step back and realize I'm not perfect and I do make mistakes and this is still a new account so I'm not failing, just learning. It was just hard to take and felt like an attack. I considered quitting but I need the money and I like what I do so it would just be a copout.

Weight loss - I'm not failing with it I just haven't had the time to dedicate like I want to. Perhaps if I didn't hit snooze for 2 HOURS each morning I'd have time to exercise early in the morning and I really need to work on that. My goal tomorrow is to get up by 8 and exercise before I start work at 9...that's the downside of working at home with no set schedule.

Writing - I think all along I've really been trying to put the cart before the horse. I have printed information about two agents I think would best represent the work I think I'll have in the end and I'm not even 1/2 done with it. I need to concentrate on the writing and the rest I can worry about later. I've got a pretty clear idea where I want to go on it from here but things change. I'll be working on it tonight and this part is pretty important to the story I think.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great Thursday.

Mojo

I have gotten my mojo back with my writing and I've come up with a plan. I have set a page limit that I MUST meet each day in order to make myself happy. It's lovely to put myself back into the world of these people and tell that story.

A woman on twitter posted a comment that I printed up and taped to my monitor. It says "Editing can be tough but I love it because I know it's going to make my writing sing." I felt very inspired by that. Another author shared with me where she got her editing style and I'm going to wait until I reach the end of my writing to start the editing process and I'm a long way from finished. I'd love to finish it this summer and bedone by my birthday so that gives me about 3 months and 10 days to finish. I think I can manage that. I'd like to be done sooner but we'll see. I would like to not put pressure on myself as this is not YET my full-time job but that is my dream. I want to make a living as a published author.

This blog is short as I'm rather tired today and still need to run an errand and get more writing done but that'll have to wait until after True Blood.