back on track

Okay so I'm still getting my groove back. I took the break and came back feeling pretty out of sorts about the whole internet thing. I did great with work the last two days and went over my quota which is good but I still can't motivate to write.

Why is it the one thing I think should probably be most important to me isn't? I feel like I need a laptop so I don't have to write in the exact same spot EVERY single day. However, in the last year I got behind on things and am only now coming out of a hole I was in and there are things that need taken care of first such as my car needs fixed. A laptop may have to wait until next year which depresses me. I have a friend who told me I could have a spare one he had that would just be for me to write on and that would be about it...unfortunately I haven't heard from said friend in ages and I really would like to buy a nice laptop with a built in webcam. Blah...okay enough with the feeling sorry. I really need to work on my writing...Help motivate me PLEASE!

burn out

So Memorial Day I was off work and had a nice relaxing day...Tuesday I logged into work and that's where it all came crashing down. I was given a new account at work which consists of a surgery center with 4 different practices in it. I have to type surgical reports for 19 different doctors. They don't dictate every day but it's a large practice. The woman who had been on the account had some issues and no longer would be working the account...and hadn't in over a week. So I got this account that was DAYS behind. Suddenly I'm working my butt off and not catching up because more files are coming in every day. I worked 11 days straight and was tired and burnt out and needed a break. So Friday I decided to take a twitter break for the weekend and only cheated once to message someone who had mailed me a package just to let her know I'd gotten it. Another woman covered the account this weekend and helped to get it cleared out so that this morning I start from scratch. I had 2 days off and barely even touched my computer.

Saturday I read a book and my mother stopped by to visit the community yard sale...the only thing I wanted but didn't get was an exercise bike my neighbor was selling. That evening I went to a graduation party for one of the Explorers at the fire department and then off to a Cincinnati Reds/Chicago Cubs baseball game. It was a gorgeous night and a fun game...extra innings and a Cincinnati win. Yesterday I cleaned and planted my herbs and peppers and my mother came over with my niece and I will be keeping her until Wednesday at some point. I read another book last night...I'm a very big reader and tend to read at least 5 books per week...just novels that I randomly pick. There are times I'll go to the library with no clear author in mind so I'll walk the aisles and pick randomly like 'I'll go down the 4th row and pick the 3rd pink book I see.' I've found some great books that way actually.

Anyway, I'm back to work today and hope it runs smoothly because I still feel tired so I just want to finish my day and go on with it all :)

Fibromyalgia

I suffer from a condition called fibromyalgia.

Taken from wikipedia this is part of an article about fibromyalgia:
Fibromyalgia meaning muscle and connective tissue pain is a disorder classified by the presence of chronic widespread pain and a heightened and painful response to gentle touch. Other core features of the disorder include debilitating fatigue, sleep disturbance, and joint stiffness. In addition, persons affected by the disorder frequently experience a range of other symptoms that involve multiple body systems, including difficulty with swallowing, functional bowel and bladder abnormalities, difficulty breathing, diffuse sensations of numbness and tingling, abnormal motor activity and cognitive dysfunction. An increased prevalence of affective and anxiety-related symptoms is also well known. While the criteria for such an entity have not yet been thoroughly developed, the recognition that fibromyalgia involves more than just pain has led to the frequent use of the term "fibromyalgia syndrome." Not all affected persons experience all the symptoms associated with the greater syndrome. I do not have all of these issues. I do have the pain and touch issues as well as sleep problems and cognitive impairment as I frequently forget things. Most people call this 'fibro fog.'

I was diagnosed in April 2007 and in that time I've functioned with it. My doctor felt I was too young to be put on pain medicaiton and instead put me on an antidepressant, which I did not need, to help me sleep. That medication was of no use to me and I was later put on another medication which I couldn't even take as it left me so tired for days on end. I am now on a muscle relaxer that does nothing either but as I'm losing weight my flares become manageable. I have read there is a link between vitamin D deficiency and fibromyalgia and I am now taking a supplement so maybe it will help stop my flares.

None of that will help me now as I believe I am in the midst of one. Lately I've been having a lot of pain between my shoulder blades but last night it woke me several times and I finally had to move to the couch so I could lay flat. I cannot turn my head very well to the right. I can only turn it about an inch before the muscle becomes tight and painful. The worst part is that this all will set me back as I cannot exercise safely when in this type of condition as my pain starts to radiate to other parts by the end of the day. Even driving becomes an issue with my neck in such a condition.

Goals

Inspired by @teetee_71 from twitter I decided to make a list of my goals for the month of June.

1. I am currently weighing in at 223.5 and so my goal by the end of June is to be at 215 which is 8.5 pounds by July 1.

2. I would like to measure cut back my carb consumption and keep it less than 120 carbs per day which is a goal I will have to continually work on but by the end of the month would like this to be at least 10 consecutive days.

3. I would like to make sure I have at least 5 servings of fruit and veggies daily, which isn't typically a problem for me but sometimes is. I would prefer most servings are fresh.

4. Since I work at home one of my biggest problems is snacking so I would like to make sure I keep healthier snacks on hand and will premeasure them so I can just easily grab them.

5. I want to make sure that each day I spend at least 30 minutes in an unwind mode, listening to calming music, reading a book, soaking in the tub...just 30 minutes doing something for me in silence with no phone/cell phone and/or distraction.

Thank you again @teetee_71 for the idea.

weigh in

Today was my weekly weigh in and despite it being TOM (TMI I know) I still lost 1.4 pounds and an additional 2 inches. I am at the library ATM and unable to access my spreadsheets so I can't give you an accurate detail of where those inches came from. I have decided on the advice of my friend Matt that after today I will be moving my weigh checks and measurments to Fridays and therefore will not be weighing in for the next 11 days. I am hopeful that the interval will help me to have a pretty significant number. I have started c25k now and think that will make a big difference for me.

I type really fast so feel really awkard here in the silent library with my 100+ wpm typing on a very clicky keyboard. I feel like turning to the hunt and peck typer next to me and apologizing. Silly me...I thought i would like the silence in the library and needed a break from my life for a moment so thought I'd come here and spend some time.

My personal life is turning to utter rubbish and I'm not feeling very supported at home...case in point that I asked E to come out with me this evening as we had the evening free and he shot me down in favor of the corner bar with his friend from work despite the fact he doesn't even have any money to drink on...makes a girl feel good.