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20 May 2009


Seriously I'm never happy to be overweight. I've been complacent about it and let it linger too long. Today, however, I'm entirely done with it. For the last few years I've been large and I've not done enough about it or I'd be thin by now. Right? Maybe not. Last year when we joined the gym I immediately lost 13 pounds in the first month...gained it back and gave up for a bit. I've been exercising a lot since March and haven't lost that amount even 3 months later. I asked about the possibility of PCOS at the doctor today because I have several of the symptoms but was told that since my cycle is NOT irregular that is not the case. I could have some other type of hormone irregularity instead, possibly even be diabetic. I am at risk for that due to my previous history but was told by another doc that is only a risk for 5 years and it's now 7 years on. My thyroid is enlarged and that's a concern.

Okay that's it. I'm done...I'm 30 years old and I have fibromyalgia and I'm fat. I don't want to be 31 with a thyroid issue and/or diabetes and fibromyalgia and fat. I'd rather just turn 31 quietly and at least 30 pounds lighter. Again I feel like I am floundering and have nowhere to go.

Also, I have NO sex drive and was again told, essentially, to suck it up and do it anyway.