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19 June 2009

taking care of me

I've realized I have never really taken care of myself. At 11 I began to smoke and that was awful enough. I never exercised and ate whatever I wanted. My junior and senior years of high school breakfast was a Mountain Dew, Snickers bar and some Cheetos...yum. I was 135 pounds at the time. I maintained that weight for years despite sitting on my butt and eating junk. I quit smoking at 27 and gained 80+ pounds.

Today I am 222.9 pounds. I have lost 13.1 pounds and still am not taking care of myself. Why? I still feel like I shouldn't have to watch my diet or exercise and I feel like I should stomp my feet and scream. It's so not fair. 10 years ago I loved to go hiking but didn't think of it as exercise. I still have issues watching what I eat even though I know it's just going to make me feel like crap. Grow up lady.

I can keep starting over and over but it's not going to work until I mean it. I mean it today. I'm done feeling like dirt, not caring about me and not caring FOR me. I didn't manage to get up early as I'd planned this morning but I'm going to beat myself up for it. I do have a condition that causes me to constantly be fatigued so it's going to happen.

I may not have support at home but I have the support of a great online community of people and if I'm struggling I can talk to one of them just as they could me.

So guess what today is? Today is the start of a new me for good.


Diet Girl Mel said...

That's right! Everyday is a new day, and you can start new! Keep up that determination! 13lbs is a lot to lose! I know it might not seem like it when you look at how much is left, but have you lifted 13 pounds lately? It's a lot!

Don't look at how far you have to go girl... just take one step at a time, until YOU'RE happy. It's not about anyone else in the WHOLE world... just you. If you want it... forget everyone else and take it! I know you can!

Anonymous said...

You always have support here online with all of the fantastic people who you have gotten to know.
You are awesome and deserve to take care of yourself so keep that attitude.
You can win this battle each day may be a struggle but it is one day closer to kicking fat in to butt!
XO Shannon

Kristen howe said...

Hmm. How did you get Cleveland Ohio for your live traffic feed and other places? I live near the Cleveland OH area. Thanks for following blog #1. Though you have nonspacer symbols in it. As for your blog, it's admirable that you have goals to quit smoking and you've lost weight. It's a good place to start.

MB said...

You sound exactly like me except my breakfast was just Diet Coke and cigs.

I may not have the answers but I'll be here to support you. I found your blog through theAntiJared's blog. I'm doing the Missouri 60 too. Hopefully we'll both be proud of the difference we can make in 60 days. Good luck!